Tomorrow is the opening day of trout season in NJ and thus renews the annual epic battle of The Scientist versus shit that swims. No, I'm not talking about total douche-nozzle Michael Phelps and his lines of S&M gear and ass-hats; we're dealing primarily with fish here people.
The millions and millions of Dr. Yeti's fans already know that I suck a taint at fishing and am constantly bested by The Sciencette and nature itself, but if you're a newbie, let me just say that I suck a taint at fishing and am constantly bested by the Sciencette and nature itself. I've bought a trout stamp for the past 5 years or so, and I've caught a grand total of zero trout. Well, to be honest, I caught the same trout twice but also lost it twice, so that's null in the end.
Anyway, maybe NJ trout are dumbasses compared to their PA cousins. I need all the help I can get. All I want to do is catch a fish and eat the hell out of it. I don't care how much mercury and PCB the thing is full of. I don't care if the water so saturated in estradiol, dieldrin, lindane, and methoxychlor that male fish are turning female and female fish are growing yeti taints. I just want to exert my dominance over the natural world and digest one of evolution's finest creatures.
I'm going to double my chances of eating endangered species and whatnot by also trying my hand at saltwater fishing this year. I bought a bigass rod for surfcasting, but let's face it, the thimblefull of freshwater fishing knowledge that I have is a shit-ton compared to what I know about fishing in the ocean. I'm counting on a hardy dose of beginners luck, and if that doesn't work, maybe I'll tie some flies using The Yeti's fur to entice some salty seadogs.
Dr. Snail, any suggestions short of setting up a trot-line?
A Place to Play
2 weeks ago