Dr. Yeti Movie Review III

For the third installment of the Movie Review here at Dr. Yeti, I've decided to rock your faces with 3 great movies that you need to see. One note though, I'll be linking to and/or referring to the Internet Movie Database (i.e. IMDb). If you're retarded or something and have never explored IMDb, get your monkey ass over there and poke around. You won't regret it. So, without further ado...

Black Sheep.

If you thought that Lord of the Rings put New Zealand on the map, then you might as well hop back on the short bus and eat some more crayons. The one and only reason that New Zealand and all of its hippie Kiwis are allowed to continue living is a little documentary called Black Sheep. I'm not talking about the abortion that Chris Farley and David Spade made to bastardize their Tommy Boy success either.

This is the real life story of two brothers that live on a sheep ranch. One was traumatized as a small child when his brother killed his pet sheep and wore it like a coat. That little bitch ran away to get counseling for a few years while the sheep killer grew up to become a sheep fucker and genetic engineering advocate.

He (well, his team of scientists really, uh YEAH), combined his sperm with sheep DNA to create a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. The only problem is that one of the aborted mutant fetuses was kidnapped by a dirty hippie and let loose. That little dude would bite the shit out of anything that moved turning: a) all of the other sheep evil and b) people into evil weresheep.

Thankfully, when the little bitch came home to sell his stake in the ranch, his nuts finally dropped. He hooked up with a hot hippie chick that turned out not to be useless (must not be a real hippie then), and saved the day. I'm not going to tell you how, so watch the movie. Either buy it or illegally download it; it's worth it. And it's all completely true.

Hollywoodland.

I didn't have high hopes for this movie. It stars Ben Affleck and Adrien Brody. Ben Affleck is a human queef. Not a queef that came from a human, but a human that actually is a queef...or maybe the other way around. In any event, he's a total douche and the former buttplug of Jennifer Lopez. As for Adrien Brody...I just don't trust a dude that has a bigger nose than me...

Despite starting with two strikes against it, Hollywoodland is actually a good movie. It's about the mysterious death of the dude that played Superman on TV back when your parents were kids. He also almost had a professional wrestling career, but then he either shot himself in the head or someone else did. That's what Adrien Brody tries to find out.

The movie has a good balance of flashbacks and the action occurring in the present, at least one vicious beating, a sugar momma, and a dude that shoots his wife in the vagina. Check out HBO On Demand now to see that shit.

Accepted.

I like comedies; they make me laugh (der1). I usually go for comedies that are rated R though. Why not use the full extent of the English language and show some gratuitous nudity? Well, Accepted was billed with a lowly PG-13. I knew nothing about the movie going in, so just seeing that pissed me off, but I had nothing better to do than watch it because the Sciencette is in Austin, TX.

It stars that dude from the Mac vs. PC commercials, but instead of being a total fag Mac-style, he's more like he was in Die Hard 4. Oh yeah, it's got a token black guy, a ginger kid, a fat kid, and Lewis Black being angry as hell! No finer cast was ever assembled for a movie, ever.

The plot is that the Mac kid is rejected from every college he applied to, so he starts his own fake school and a lot of people come to it. All of the people are also total rejects, so it's totally badass. All the while, Lewis Black lives in the back of the place in a trailer and is angry and shares his anger with the youth of America. Also, there's the usual skinny blond chick with a set of jugs that they try to showcase as frequently as possible. She reminded me of a Muppet for some reason.

I don't really know why the movie was so good, but I laughed my taint off. Seriously, I had to suture my taint back on in the morning.

So there you have it my millions and millions of fans. Go watch these movies and be a cool kid, even though the cool kids in the movies don't always come out on top.