Chuck Norris
On this day in 1940, Chuck Norris broke free from his maternal prison. It is a little known medical fact that Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb. He was born will a full beard and a dense forest of chest hair. It's rumored that Chuck was so hungry when he broke free that he ate the afterbirth and every other baby in the hospital at the time. So raise your bottle of grain alcohol and say a toast to Chuck. If you don't, he'll probably kill you.
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