Dr. Yeti movie review

I like to watch movies. They're great reasons to eat, drink, and generally be slothful (remember Sloth at Juniata? She had two different colored eyes that were on entirely different latitudes on her face.). Watching a movie is better than doing something constructive or helpful to mankind.

One of my constant sources of movies and movie recommendations is the dynamic duo of Amanda and Parry. They've introduced to me to common cinematic gems such as "The Rules of Attraction," "May," and "The Descent." They've also turned me on to a lot of amazing/crazy Asian stuff like "Cat Soup," the "Battle Royale" movies, and last night, "Gaau ji."

Gaau ji is Chinese for Dumplings, and Dumplings is Chinese for shit-house crazy movie. Get this: the plot is that there's an aging actress that's seeking a way to stay young so she can be attractive for her husband. And sure, the "aging" actress looks young anyway, and her husband, who I think they just refer to as Mr. Lee but I'm going to call the Silver Fox, will dip his wick into anything that moves, but ignore that for now.

I think I just had a brain aneurysm.

Anyway, Mrs. Lee hears about a woman, Aunt Mei (the Asian version of Spiderman's Aunt May?), that makes special dumplings that are supposed to revitalize you. The secret ingredient...human fetuses! The entire movie is basically about one woman cooking fetuses and another eating them in various dumpling forms.

Apparently, fetuses (feti?) in the 5th month are the best. But the gradations of quality go even further. It's better if it's a boy fetus because Chinese women mostly abort females. If it's a first child, that's even better, and if it's the product of incest, then you've stumbled on the holy grail of fetal cuisine.

For some reason, Mrs. Lee started smelling weird after eating the incest fetus even though Aunt Mei smelled normal and she ate the hell out of it too. Oh, and the Silver Fox had an appetite for fetal chickens and decided to have a lot of sex with Aunt Mei after her found out she was a cannibal.

My suggestion: re-read all of this and go rent/illegally download the movie!