Let’s talk about spam.
Spam is a delicious meat-based treat.
No one quite knows what kind of meat(s), but Hawaiians seem to like spam and eggs, so it must be ok.
Your stereotypical white trasher likes spam too.
Spam is also unwanted email. That kind of spam pisses me off. It pisses me off hard. Everyday, I wake up to find a shit storm of spam in my inbox. It’s not too bad with my Pitt account, but it gets worse every day. I’ve completely stopped using my Juniata email account. I’ve graphed the amount of spam I receive every month for the past 12, and I’m averaging 1700 pieces of email garbage every 30 days. That’s actually not too bad, except it’s an average. Recent months have seen greater than three and four thousand crap spasms delivered to me. My Gmail account suffers the same problem, but at least that bad boy has a spam filter.
The spam seems to be cyclical too. For a while, people will want me to refinance things, then they’ll offer me a miracle way to increase the length of my penis. Lately, they’ve moved from length to girth (wow, 20% girthier!), and most recently they’ve abandoned the actual penis altogether but promised to increase the volume of my ejaculate by up to 500%. I’m hung like a two liter bottle, so I guess I should splooge that much, right?
Something I never really paid attention to was the sender though. Who cares, it’s shit that I don’t want. But a few days ago, something in the “From:” category caught my eye:
Wow. Is there a program that randomly assigns names to these things, or did someone actually think that this was a good way to get me interested in getting healthy?
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9 comments:
I might have missed it, but what does that picture have to do with spam? Is she carrying a plate of spam appetizers? Is she an example of the type of white trash that likes spam? Or is she the Feliciano that sent you spam about dating for sex addicts?
a confused J.P.
I suppose I could've been more clear for the general audience. She's both carrying a tray of spam appetizers and a fine example of white trash that digs spam. She may also be one of the spammers...
Actually, she was one of the hostesses of the White Trash Party of 2005, and very well dressed in costume. As usual, Matthew Marie failed to explain, and forgot to post the picture of the plate of appetizers - spam is gross.
Dear phagegirl,
Thanks for everything.
Julie Newmar
You are so dead, JP....Hambone doesn't like it when people talk smack about his white trash woman!!
Does anyone know the ham bone song?
I really just like that she has cigarettes sticking out her shorts. I used to do that at bars, except with my boobs. Yes, I was winning the white trash contest pretty much all the time. But at least I always knew where my cigarettes were!
So wait, your boobs were sticking out of your shorts? How did that work?
No, no, no. Cigarettes were shoved in my shirt, in between my boobs. It was highly effective.
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