Jared doesn’t live in Pennsylvania anymore. For the foreseeable future, he’s gonna rock out with his cock out, he’s gonna hang out with his wang out, and he’s gonna stick out with his dick out in Richmond, Virginia. For those that don’t know, VA is a black hole from which Pennsylvanians can’t escape. I swear that half the people from my high school live and work there now. If I’m not mistaken, a good number of Juniatians ended up there too. Cheers to a good job market I guess.
So, what happens when all of the yetis either leave or are exterminated from an ecosystem? That’s right, the marsupials move in. Wombats roam the streets in fearsome gaggles, kangaroos break out their boxing gloves, and the koalas start to get lippy. Just this weekend, I heard a koala demand that a beautiful woman get her bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make him some eucalyptus pie.
And if it’s not the marsupials by land, it’s the carp by sea. My grandfather (and namesake) used to say that the best way to prepare carp was to stuff it with manure, wrap it in foil, bake it for an hour, throw the fish away, and eat the shit. Again, for those that don’t know, carp is one of the ugliest, nastiest fish going. They’re bottom feeders; they’ll eat any kind of garbage they can.
Well, that’s the state of things here now. Koalas are getting fat and sassy, and carp are invading trout waters with impunity. Meanwhile, Jared’s living the good life in Virginia, making money hand over fist, and joining catfish clubs. Kill you Jared!
A Place to Play
2 weeks ago
Posts
6 comments:
Ooh Matt Bochman... GUESS WHAT I met a new friend and he's a scientist too! He's been doing the lab thing like you do for six years. Kill yourself.
We were talking about carp just last night, and so I was glad to send him over your quote about eating the shit... Classic Bochman. I'm so proud that you've become such an accomplished blogger. Much more accomplished than I!
I don't know about accomplished...
That is an actual quote from my grandfather though; my dad likes to tell it every chance he gets.
I'm well on my way to 6 years in the lab. It does sorta make me want to kill myself.
Dr. Snail has made a trimphant return to the lower 48 for his 2 week excursion in Alaska. Be prepared for a Dr. Snail Blog. It won't be for another week or so because I know you all need to get mentally prepared.
Jared, did you know that its legal to have 1/4 lb of mary jane in AK? I saw at least two guys walking down the street toking. Plus, you can grow up to 25 plants. Additionally, I went to high school with the public defender should you need to retain his services.
Bochman, if you can find it (which you won't be able to), drink some Midnight Sun Brewing Company's Kodiak Nut Brown. Its delicious. Also, you need to go fishing in Alaska. Halibut fishing in particular. All you do is drop a giant weight with a herring to the bottom of the ocean and reel it back in. Easier than rock bass. My roommate brought back 60lbs of filleted fish. Just checked it with his baggage.
To the rest of you who read this blog, I have no idea who you are so I got nada for you.
True...on all counts...
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